Stephen Colbert vs. US Threatens Ecuador Over Breastfeeding?
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The U.S. Threatens Ecuador Over... Breastfeeding?
Versus Video Transcripts:
00:02
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I HAVE IMPORTANT NEWS FOR ANYONE WHO IS
00:05
NOW OR HAS EVER BEEN A BABY.
00:09
( LAUGHTER ) AT A MEETING OF THE WORLD HEALTH
00:11
ASSEMBLY BACK IN MAY, "U.S.
00:12
DELEGATES OPPOSED AN INTERNATIONAL RESOLUTION THAT
00:14
SUPPORTED BREASTFEEDING."
00:17
OF COURSE, THIS IS THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION, SO I ASSUME THEY
00:20
WANTED TO REPLACE THE WORD "BREAST" WITH SOMETHING MORE
00:22
TASTEFUL, LIKE, "FUNBAGS."
00:25
( LAUGHTER ) THE PROPOSAL ENCOURAGED W.H.O.
00:28
NATIONS TO "PROTECT, PROMOTE, AND SUPPORT BREASTFEEDING," BUT
00:31
AMERICAN OFFICIALS SOUGHT TO WATER DOWN THE RESOLUTION.
00:34
IMPORTANT WARNING: NEVER WATER DOWN YOUR BREAST MILK
00:37
RESOLUTION.
00:40
IT COULD LEAD TO WEIGHT LOSS AND LOWERED IMMUNITY.
00:41
THAT'S PART JOKE, PART REAL TIP.
00:47
( LAUGHTER ) YEAH
00:51
( APPLAUSE ) WE AIM TO EDUCATE.
00:53
( LAUGHTER ) THE RESOLUTION WAS GOING TO BE
00:55
INTRODUCED BY ECUADOR, BUT THEY DROPPED THEIR SUPPORT AFTER THE
00:58
U.S. THREATENED TO, "UNLEASH PUNISHING TRADE MEASURES AND
01:01
WITHDRAW CRUCIAL MILITARY AID."
01:04
OVER A BREASTFEEDING RESOLUTION?
01:06
THAT'S LIKE SAYING, "I'LL HAVE THE COKE.
01:09
WHAT'S THAT?
01:09
YOU ONLY SERVE PEPSI?
01:11
OKAY, THEN I WILL BURN DOWN THIS FUDDRUCKERS."
01:16
( LAUGHTER ) I WILL.
01:18
I WILL.
01:20
MOTHERS BREASTFEEDING THEIR BABIES SHOULD BE A SLAM DUNK.
01:22
THE RESOLUTION WAS JUST TRYING TO "LIMIT THE MISLEADING
01:24
MARKETING OF BREAST MILK SUBSTITUTES."
01:27
AND THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF THOSE.
01:30
JUST LOOK AT THIS SIMILAC BABY FORMULA AD PROMISING TO BURN
01:33
BELLY FAT AND INCREASE LIBIDO.
01:36
( LAUGHTER ) THE BABY IS JACKED.
01:40
I'VE GOT TO TRY SOME SIMILAC.
01:45
( LAUGHTER ) BUT INSTEAD, "THE UNITED STATES
01:47
DELEGATION IS EMBRACING THE INTERESTS OF INFANT FORMULA
01:48
MANUFACTURERS."
01:49
OKAY, LOOK, I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH FORMULA.
01:52
FOR SOME FAMILIES, IT'S THE BEST OPTION.
01:55
BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT YOUR PRODUCT TO SOUND SINISTER, MAYBE
01:58
DON'T CALL IT "THE FORMULA."
02:05
WHAT?
02:13
WHAT'S THAT, DARLING?
02:15
OUR SWEET LITTLE BABY IS HUNGRY?
02:17
GIVE HER... "THE FORMULA."
02:20
( LAUGHTER ) THEN PUT HER DOWN FOR A NAP IN
02:23
"THE LABORATORY."
02:26
( LAUGHTER ) IF SHE'S STILL FUSSY AFTERWARDS
02:28
WE'LL HEAR IT ON... "THE MONITOR."
02:32
( LAUGHTER ) AND CALM HER WITH MORE...
02:36
"FORMULA."
00:02
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I HAVE IMPORTANT NEWS FOR ANYONE WHO IS
00:05
NOW OR HAS EVER BEEN A BABY.
00:09
( LAUGHTER ) AT A MEETING OF THE WORLD HEALTH
00:11
ASSEMBLY BACK IN MAY, "U.S.
00:12
DELEGATES OPPOSED AN INTERNATIONAL RESOLUTION THAT
00:14
SUPPORTED BREASTFEEDING."
00:17
OF COURSE, THIS IS THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION, SO I ASSUME THEY
00:20
WANTED TO REPLACE THE WORD "BREAST" WITH SOMETHING MORE
00:22
TASTEFUL, LIKE, "FUNBAGS."
00:25
( LAUGHTER ) THE PROPOSAL ENCOURAGED W.H.O.
00:28
NATIONS TO "PROTECT, PROMOTE, AND SUPPORT BREASTFEEDING," BUT
00:31
AMERICAN OFFICIALS SOUGHT TO WATER DOWN THE RESOLUTION.
00:34
IMPORTANT WARNING: NEVER WATER DOWN YOUR BREAST MILK
00:37
RESOLUTION.
00:40
IT COULD LEAD TO WEIGHT LOSS AND LOWERED IMMUNITY.
00:41
THAT'S PART JOKE, PART REAL TIP.
00:47
( LAUGHTER ) YEAH
00:51
( APPLAUSE ) WE AIM TO EDUCATE.
00:53
( LAUGHTER ) THE RESOLUTION WAS GOING TO BE
00:55
INTRODUCED BY ECUADOR, BUT THEY DROPPED THEIR SUPPORT AFTER THE
00:58
U.S. THREATENED TO, "UNLEASH PUNISHING TRADE MEASURES AND
01:01
WITHDRAW CRUCIAL MILITARY AID."
01:04
OVER A BREASTFEEDING RESOLUTION?
01:06
THAT'S LIKE SAYING, "I'LL HAVE THE COKE.
01:09
WHAT'S THAT?
01:09
YOU ONLY SERVE PEPSI?
01:11
OKAY, THEN I WILL BURN DOWN THIS FUDDRUCKERS."
01:16
( LAUGHTER ) I WILL.
01:18
I WILL.
01:20
MOTHERS BREASTFEEDING THEIR BABIES SHOULD BE A SLAM DUNK.
01:22
THE RESOLUTION WAS JUST TRYING TO "LIMIT THE MISLEADING
01:24
MARKETING OF BREAST MILK SUBSTITUTES."
01:27
AND THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF THOSE.
01:30
JUST LOOK AT THIS SIMILAC BABY FORMULA AD PROMISING TO BURN
01:33
BELLY FAT AND INCREASE LIBIDO.
01:36
( LAUGHTER ) THE BABY IS JACKED.
01:40
I'VE GOT TO TRY SOME SIMILAC.
01:45
( LAUGHTER ) BUT INSTEAD, "THE UNITED STATES
01:47
DELEGATION IS EMBRACING THE INTERESTS OF INFANT FORMULA
01:48
MANUFACTURERS."
01:49
OKAY, LOOK, I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH FORMULA.
01:52
FOR SOME FAMILIES, IT'S THE BEST OPTION.
01:55
BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT YOUR PRODUCT TO SOUND SINISTER, MAYBE
01:58
DON'T CALL IT "THE FORMULA."
02:05
WHAT?
02:13
WHAT'S THAT, DARLING?
02:15
OUR SWEET LITTLE BABY IS HUNGRY?
02:17
GIVE HER... "THE FORMULA."
02:20
( LAUGHTER ) THEN PUT HER DOWN FOR A NAP IN
02:23
"THE LABORATORY."
02:26
( LAUGHTER ) IF SHE'S STILL FUSSY AFTERWARDS
02:28
WE'LL HEAR IT ON... "THE MONITOR."
02:32
( LAUGHTER ) AND CALM HER WITH MORE...
02:36
"FORMULA."
